No explanation needed

jumpDon’t be deceived into thinking that you owe anyone an explanation for anything you choose to do or not do. Not even yourself.

You don’t have to give anyone a reason for anything you do. I don’t care who they are.

Most of the time it seems like I make decision based on facts, logic or circumstances that point towards a local choice. Other times I don’t know why but I just feel that I should do something. I say just as if the feeling itself isn’t enough. When I’m at my best I go with that feeling.

You don’t have to be able to prove it or justify it or have a reason or rationale. Just because you feel it is enough. Trust your instincts and make a decision. The reasons may come later. Or they may not. But trust yourself enough to know that in that moment you made the right decision.

We make a mistake when we think that we have to justify our decisions. People ask, and we make up a excuse or come up with some bull shit skin of a reason stuffed with a lie.

Have the courage to let the decision exist on its own.

But we can’t do that until it’s enough on its own for us. Only then can it be enough for someone else.

 

Find a mastermind group already

masterI take time to mastermind with a variety of people at least once a month. They work best when each member of the group has the ability to be vulnerable and is a genuine contributor to the group. Maybe you’re not all at the same level, but you bring value to the group.

Every small business owner should participate in a mastermind group. Here’s why:

  • What did Dr. Seuss say? Two heads are wiser than one.
  • It’s amazing what a fresh perspective can do for you. My friend Andy says, “You can’t see the label from inside the jar.”
  • You’ll find that what’s often most surprising is what you knew all along. Sometimes all it take is saying something out loud to work through it.

The best format I’ve used to in a mastermind meeting is one borrowed from someone else. The group maintains a Google doc where each person tracks (and then discusses the following:

  • What is inspiring them
  • What they’re working on
  • What they need help with

The advantage of the Google doc is that you can track your thoughts in between meetings, and other participants can even jot down suggestions or notes if they’d like.

Do you belong to a mastermind group? If not, why not?

Setting the atmosphere for conversations

robeToday I made my annual trek to the Ruth J. Spear Breast Center for my annual mammogram to have my chicken cutlets compressed to the width of my iPad. While I understand it’s a first world problem, I wonder, as I do every year, why the sum total diagnosis of a woman’s health is settled by reviewing photographs of her smashed breasts and cells scraped from her vagina. But I digress.

While waiting for my technician I made two observations:

  1. You can’t be shivering cold and have a meaningful conversation about your breast health.
  2. It’s difficult to have a serious conversation with a medical professional while you’re–let’s just say it–topless. There’s something about this state of undress that screams vulnerable.

These observations led me to draw some conclusions about conversational environments:
The best conversational outcomes are achieved when the playing field is equal. Everyone feels comfortable and empowered to speak up. Elephants have been ushered out of the room and the emperor is either fully clothed or admittedly naked.

Everyone understands the expectations. Everyone understands the rules, spoken or unspoken. And everyone is comfortable.

Makes me wonder what kinds of things are forgotten or left unspoken at medical appointments because the patient’s brain is preoccupied with insignificant details that matter not one iota to her health. And then I wonder the same about interviews, client meetings and team meetings.