What I see when you auto DM me on Twitter, Part I

Whenever I receive an auto DM on Twitter, I have to resist the overwhelming urge to unfollow. Here is the first of several examples of auto-DMs I’ve received just this past two days and what I’m thinking as I read them.

Disclosure: I don’t know Larry, or any of the other individuals in subsequent posts, personally. They may be perfectly fine people with the best of intentions. I’m just using their DMs as examples.

Larry, Larry, Larry. {shakes head} I’ve only just started following you. We haven’t even had a conversation and here you go trying to take our relationship to the next level. You’re scaring me just a little bit. That and the dark glasses. What’s up with that?